Gone
by Eminnis
Summary: “Jasper, I can’t live without you. I just can’t! You’re everything to me, the only reason I live." Jasper dies during the battle in Eclipse. This is how Alice deals with it. Rated T for violence and brief mentions of suicide.


**Author's Note**

**Okay, everyone. I realize that some of you might be really mad at me for doing this kind of fic. Trust me, it pained me to write this. It was very depressing and I'd feel so bad for poor Alice. This takes place after the battle in Eclipse. Alternate ending. Jasper dies in the battle. Here is what happens with Alice. Most fics that I've seen have Alice die so I thought I'd mix it up. Is a one-shot for now. Might turn it into a two shot or more but don't think so. Enjoy and please read and review! (Also, this is now reposted cause I was reading through and saw way too many mistakes for my liking)**

**Disclaimer**

**Me: I don't own twilight or its characters. Stephanie Meyer does. I'm glad Stephanie owns it and didn't make this happen.**

**Jasper and Alice: Thank goodness for that!**

**Chapter One: ****Gone**

I watched as the great plume of purple smoke danced in the night sky. I was in a zombie like trance. How could this be? Why, oh why, hadn't I seen it? How could I have let this happen? Jasper, oh my wonderful, sweet, kind, gentle, caring Jasper, was gone. He was…I shook my head stubbornly. I couldn't-_wouldn't_- think the word. And I certainly couldn't say it. Jasper. Oh, Jasper, why did you have to go? Why didn't I pay attention? Warn you? I had a sudden, unwanted flash back.

_***Flashback***_

I faced a fierce newborn with confidence. I could handle this easily. Jasper had taught me how to fight. Plus, I had my visions as an advantage. The newborn advanced on me, teeth bared. I closed my eyes and got flashes of the newborn's chosen moves. I ducked them all easily, quickly destroying one new born and taking on another.

When I closed my eyes again, I saw a terrible vision.

**Vision**

_Jasper darted in front of me as the newborn attempted to rip my arm off. He had such a worried look on his face and I made a mental note to chide him later for that. He didn't have to worry so much._

_The newborn leapt at my love instead of me; quickly sinking it's teeth into his shoulder. With a loud screech, Jasper's arm was torn away from his body and he cried out in agony. I rushed forward to help him, but he told me to stay back. I obeyed, trusting that he knew best. How foolish that move turned out to be. The newborn attacked again, this time getting his teeth into Jasper's other shoulder and tearing deep into the flesh. I cringed as I heard Jasper cry out again. _

_Suddenly, the newborn jumped and sunk its teeth into Jasper's neck, quickly decapitating him and killing him. I let out a strangled sob as I saw the newborn continue to destroy Jasper and throw him into one of the fires._

**Vision end**

I pulled myself away and blinked, horrified. Then a newborn jumped at me, almost ripping my arm off. Jasper leapt to protect me. I watched in utter horror as the vision played out in front of my eyes. I sobbed, as Jasper was torn apart and thrown into the fire. When I heard his agonized screams, my heart shattered. In a large bout of anger, I pinned the newborn that had done this. I growled fiercely and the newborn cowered under my gaze.

"Please! Don't hurt me!" he pleaded.

"What's your name?" I asked harshly.

"Gerald." He answered.

"Don't hurt you, Gerald? Don't hurt you?! You just killed the love of my life and you expect me not to hurt you?! Oh I won't hurt you, I'll kill you!" I shrieked, feeling my heart still shattering into a million little pieces.

"Please! It was just my orders! Please, spare me!" Gerald pleaded.

"In the words of my love, 'our kind losing our partners is something we do not forgive.' That is what he told me and I see now what he meant. I will _never_ forgive you and I'm _going_ to avenge him!" I growled. Then, without another word, I quickly dismembered Gerald and threw him into the fire. Snarling, I turned to my next victim.

_***End Flashback***_

The rest had happened very quickly. I'd taken out five more vampires and almost killed Rosalie in my bout of anger. I'd apologized profusely and she told me she understood. But she didn't. Not really. She still had Emmett, but I didn't have Jasper. Oh Jasper! My already shattered heart felt like it broke even more.

What was the point in living without my Jasper? We'd been together for so long. I wasn't ready for it to end. Not now, not ever. I had expected him to always be by my side. To be my shoulder to cry on. To always be my brave, war soldier that had so much love and protection for not only me but also the entire family. He couldn't do that anymore.

And it was all because of her. Bella. I was pleased for my brother, of course, but if it weren't for Bella, my love would still be alive. We wouldn't have had to have a battle because she would never have been hunted by James which led to Edward killing him and Victoria seeking revenge. If it weren't for that stinkin' human, my Jazzy would still be here. She deserved the same fate as he got. She was the true source of our problems. Ever since her…

"Alice! No. You can't blame Bella for this. We're all upset about Jasper. But you can't blame Bella for his-"

"No, Edward!" I snarled. "Don't you dare say it! And I certainly can blame Bella if I'd like. And sure you all are upset about Jazz. But was he _your_ mate? Was he the love of _your_ life? Did he mean everything to _you_? Was the core of _your_ existence? Was he the only reason for _your_ being? I don't think so!" I turned away angrily.

"A-Alice. I-I'm so sorry. I didn't ever mean for this to happen. You're my best friend and I would never want to hurt you." Bella said quietly. I spun around and glared at her. How I hated her now.

"You're not my best friend anymore. You still have your mate; your love. You still have Edward. And I don't have my love anymore. Just…just…WHY? WHY, JASPER?!?! PLEASE, LET IT JUST BE SOME SICK TWISTED DREAM! PLEASE!! Please. Oh please." My screeching dropped to a whisper as I fell to the ground, sobbing. I heard Bella crying into Edward's chest as my words sunk in. I heard my family's choked sobs and murmurs of sympathy. But I didn't care.

My Jasper, my love, my entire life, was just…gone. Gone and never to return. He was my only reason for being…and now he was…dead. I sobbed hard as I finally forced myself to think the word. But it was so true. So, painfully, sadly, hopelessly, true. It wasn't fair! Why couldn't it have been me? Why Jasper? Why had I had that vision just at the wrong time? It was because of that vision I hadn't seen the newborn jump at me. Jasper had had to protect me. He paid the ultimate price for my mistake. His life.

I didn't have my guiding star anymore. The one person who helped me through the good and bad times was gone. The one I could trust with all of my secrets. I could trust him with my emotions. He never gave them away if I didn't want him to. I didn't tell him I loved him often enough. We didn't say that to each other a lot. He always felt it from me and vice versa. I should have told him more. I couldn't even find the strength to shout those three simple words while he was going through all that pain, dying. He'd never heard me say those words. I'd never heard him say those words. Not one last time.

Neither of us expected this. Neither of us knew what would happen. That this morning was the last time we could say 'I love you' to each other. The only emotion he'd probably gotten from me in his last moments was shock and horror. He'd gone through so much pain and I couldn't even feel love for him when I should have. Oh how it pained me.

I finally found the strength to look up at my family. They all gasped when the saw my face. I looked at them with confusion, blinking wildly at the moisture in my eyes. Wait, moisture? I moved my hand to my eyes and wiped it across them. When I looked at my hand, I saw true, salty tears there. But, I'd thought it was impossible for a vampire to cry. Especially human tears.

"Alice…you're crying. Truly crying. How is that possible?" Rosalie asked, being cradled by Emmett. Emmett. Rosalie. Rosalie. Emmett. They had each other. They were so lucky.

"I guess if you're in enough pain, like losing your other half and reason for being, you can cry." I whispered hoarsely.

I thought of Jasper's face, the way he smiled whenever I went on one of my many shopping trips. The way he grimaced whenever I chose to drag him along. He never complained. Just let me have my fun and he tried to enjoy it as well. I remembered the way he still went to school and suffered despite the thirst. For me. When we'd arrived here, he knew how much I loved the Cullens and, though he grew to love them, too, he was at first all for leaving them. But he had stayed. For me, he had stayed. He was such a good husband. And I let him down.

My entire frame shook with loud sobs. I remembered how he'd play with the family's emotions just to get to them. How he'd calm me when I needed it and how he never let me down. He never went overboard when manipulating me. Oh how I needed his power now. His calming presence. It was gone. Forever. He was always there for me. But not anymore.

Finally, I turned and looked at the family. Esme's face held shock and anguish. Carlisle didn't look much better. Rosalie and Emmett were embracing and dry sobbing softly. Edward looked pained and Bella was sobbing. Good. She deserved this feeling of guilt that I knew was there. Edward snarled at me and I growled back. I turned and looked at Carlisle and Esme.

"I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do. I can't handle this. I need some time alone. I love you all. Thank you for caring for Jasper and I when we arrived so many years ago. Goodbye." I choked out.

"Alice! Don't go. We can help you. Please, don't do what I know you're thinking of doing!" Edward begged me.

"Wouldn't you do the same thing?" I asked. Edward hesitated and I smiled grimly. "I thought so."

"Wait, you're not going to do what Edward did when he thought Bella died, are you?" Emmett asked fearfully.

Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Bella looked at me nervously. Emmett's gaze was the most intent. I knew if I answered truthfully, he'd grab me and my chance would be gone. But I couldn't just lie. So, I backed a good 30 feet away before breathing out my answer.

"Yes."

I saw Emmett, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Bella all stare at me, horrified. Edward wasn't surprised. As I knew it would happen, Emmett immediately darted for me. I jumped out of the way and growled softly. He leapt at me again and I murmured an apology as I bit his arm when he grabbed me. I started to run; worrying Edward would follow me and knowing he could catch me with ease if he wanted. I heard Bella beg Edward to go after me, and Edward refuse saying he had no rights in this case. I knew Bella wouldn't be happy about that. _Thank you, Edward._ I whispered in my mind, momentarily pausing to look back. He nodded and I smiled sadly.

I turned and darted into the forest. I thought quickly of all the ways I could end my life. I just wanted to see Jasper again. I thought about going to the Volturi, like Edward did, and almost giving away our secret. I decided I'd do something like that, and darted off, leaping into a lake to hide my scent. When I got out, very far away from the Cullen house, the best thing my mind could possibly conjure up greeted me.

Jasper stood there, an expression of sadness on his youthful, yet wise face. I knew he understood, but he wouldn't want me to do this anyway. I didn't care if this was an illusion. I didn't care if I was going utterly crazy. This is whom I longed to see. The reason I wanted so desperately to go to the Volturi. I ran forward and threw my arms around him. Or at least, in my mind I did. I couldn't actually touch him. But this was good enough.

"Ali, why are you going to the Volturi?" Jasper asked sadly. I looked up at him, tears coursing down my cheeks.

"Jasper, I can't live without you. I just can't! You're everything to me, the only reason I live. You're gone now…dead, and I can't stand it!" I answered through my sobs.

"I know, love. I miss you so much. But please, don't go and kill yourself."

"But, what good is living forever when you have no one to spend forever with?"

"You're not alone. Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett are there for you. Let them help you. Please, don't go to the Volturi."

"Jasper, I wouldn't have _you_. Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett all have each other. I mean how can I spend forever without you? Without my one true love? Jasper, you're my reason for being! I can't live with out you!" I exclaimed. I felt a sense of calm overtake me and I knew that the feeling was not fake. Somehow, Jasper was truly calming me. I was comforted by that fact greatly.

"Ali, you just have to. You'll move on eventually. You're strong and just have to have faith that you can." Jasper replied.

"NO! I won't move on, _ever_! I can't, Jazz. I just can't! I didn't even get to tell you goodbye…or 'I love you'." I sobbed.

"I love you, Alice. Don't leave the family like I did. You don't have to move on, but think of the wreck they'd be in if you died, too. They wouldn't have the protection of your visions, either. Alice, my wonderful strong pixie, keep living, for me. Promise me. Please." Jasper begged. He leaned down and I felt him place a gentle kiss on my lips. I gazed up into his eyes and was lost in them. That all shattered when I saw Jasper's image start to fade, my mind wouldn't keep him here any longer.

"I promise, Jasper. I love you." I whispered. I saw Jasper smile his signature smile and nod once before disappearing completely.

I fell to the forest ground in a heap, sobbing as if my life depended on it. My shirt was slowly soaked through as I cried. My Jasper was really gone. I would never hear his voice nor see his face again. I could no longer deny it. Not after this. I had to keep my promise to him, it was the least I could do. And I owed that to him. At least I'd been able to tell him I loved him. But I meant what I had said. I couldn't move on. I wouldn't move on. It would never happen. You only find your soul mate once. There's no other person that can possibly take his place.

No one could or would take my Jasper's place, but I would be strong for him. I would do as he asked and keep living. I would respect his last wish. With that thought, I turned back toward the direction of my home. My family. I started to run, soon leaving the forest where my decision was made behind me. Though, when I looked over my shoulder, I was sure I'd seen Jasper's smiling form once more nodding happily.

* * *

**This is truly the saddest thing I've ever written. I was nearly crying when I was writting. Hope you all liked it. Might make it a multi-shot but I'm not sure. Depends. Review please.**

**Eminnis and Alicia**


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